The Eclipse, Donald Trump and Me

The eclipse tomorrow will be affecting us all, but some of us more than others…..It falls on Donald Trump’s ascendant, the marker of his personality.  It also falls on my Saturn, the marker of the fears I must face in the name of wholeness.  So here’s what I’m thinking about:

What is the point of Donald Trump?  We’ve got him, after all, President of the United States, right in front of God and everyone….There has to be a higher purpose to this, despite the way it’s been looking; a way that who he is, and the antics he performs somehow contribute to the higher good of us all.  He isn’t a leader—his vision is too small.  He isn’t presidential—in any way that we have come to expect from those who have held that office.  He isn’t effective—his disastrous plans keep collapsing.  What he is, is visible.  He wants and needs the attention of the entire world, and now he has it.  He is a Poster Child for Change…a brilliant example of What Doesn’t Work.  Now that’s useful…but only if we use it.

One change he brings is in making it clear that we can’t depend on him to hold our values.  That is to say, he can’t hold any values beyond the needs of his own fragile ego.  So no help from Big Daddy.  We have to grow up and claim our heritage as spiritual adults.  And we are doing it, in many ways: in the activism that has swept the country, in the stand that is being taken by all sorts of people saying No, not here, not that, I won’t accept it, and I will stand for what I believe.

Which is what the alt-right is saying as well….I just read and posted on FB an interview with a former neo-Nazi who has co-founded Life After Hate.  Really, it’s enough to break your heart, because it’s so easy to see where they are coming from, out of such deprivation, and worst of all, the seeming deprivation of any other option than the one they have chosen.  But here’s the thing—I can’t and won’t align with their choices.  Do I think they have the right to make those choices?  I’m afraid I do…though I’m afraid of what that will bring….

We want to silence them, we want them not to be a part of the American Identity, we want to distance ourselves and the country from what they are proposing, because they are proposing violence, and we know in our hearts that is not what we want.  So does that mean that we have been given the opportunity to take a stand against violence as a solution?  Yes, it does, and we have.  But there’s a trap here.  If we get too heavy-handed in our stance against violence, if we shout so loudly that violence is wrong, have we made enough space for ourselves to recognize our own violence, past and present?

The terrible ills that have been perpetrated against minorities of all kinds, that are still being perpetrated?  Our horrible arrogance that has allowed us to destroy the environment, devastate the animal kingdom, etc.?  I know there are many who are working to right these wrongs, and I am deeply thankful for all they do.  I just think it’s important to do it without blame and without violence.

Let’s look back at our Poster Child…Blame is one of his favorites…and we’re getting to see what that produces.  Is that what we want?  Blame is the beginning of a downward spiral that will include violence somewhere down the road.  “It’s someone else’s fault—they are the enemy—I will fight to protect what is mine against them.”  And there we have DT, brilliantly showing us What Doesn’t Work.

How are we to help?  Help heal our wounded country, with its dysfunctional President who is showing us so clearly what needs healing?  DT is our shadow, and it is hidden no longer.  His “Me first, I have to be the greatest, I can’t allow anything else” is the voice of the ego, and it is not exclusively his.  We all have a piece of the action.  Now what?  Separation and banishment (DT’s other favorites) are clearly not the answer.  We need our egos (though not as much as we thought), but we don’t want them to be in charge.

The eclipse, in the last degree of Leo, a sign that can easily hold the shadow of the ego as well as the right use of it, can mark a turning point, if we’re willing to do the work.  And what is the work?  In broad terms, the work is to raise our vision enough to be able to see differently.  To claim the dualistic right/wrong vision as part of our development and go past it just enough to recognize that it’s a choice point.  That both choices have consequences, and we are seeing those consequences now on the big stage.

“If I refuse to recognize the rights of all beings to live and be welcome, then I am supporting war, terrorism, and endless pain on the planet.”  Which I see right in front of me in the news, and which I feel within myself as I exile (or have tried to exile) the parts of me where I feel wounded, shameful, terrorized and killed.  How many past or parallel lives have I had to clear before I could even write this, much less publish it anywhere?  (Lots.)  I’ve exiled my own voice, demeaned it, refused to hear it.  I could not allow myself to have it…too scary, I will be killed.  And yet part of me wanted to speak (private journals, dating back to the mid 70’s).  The war, terrorism, and endless pain was all inside me…and I refused to recognize it.

What if I got to a more inclusive place?  A place where I could say “I see this war-torn, terrified part of me…perhaps I see how it happened, where it might have come from, or even just that I have it…and it’s OK that it’s part of who I am.  No, I do not want it at the head of the table.  That’s where I sit.  But it certainly has a rightful seat.”  And then it is included, where other parts of me might be able to help…the part of me that knows how to clear the entanglements, the part of me that feels loved and loving, the part of me that has always loved typing….

What does this mean on the big stage?  DT is still the President, but we’re the ones who have the power to implement the changes we want to see.  We are the ones who have to act for what we want, rather than against what we don’t want.  We are the ones from whom innovation will spring forth.  It is our creativity that will make the difference.  

Perhaps the eclipse will help…it is after all a New Moon, a new beginning.  May it be for inclusiveness, rather than banishment…for safety, rather than danger… for open communication, rather than not hearing, or not speaking.  The last best thing my guides told me:  “Bless everything you see—no exceptions.”  May it be so…..