Love....

Jupiter entered Libra this morning, and I'm thinking about love.....

The first thing I'm thinking is that I reject the idea that love is an emotion....Mostly because if love is an emotion, I have no choice about when, how or who to attach it to. And sometimes, that's the case, so I guess I can't be too rigid about this.  But I want to look further.....

Emotions, to me now, are feeling like a cross between the elephant in the corner, and hulking great gangsters that you ignore at your peril.  There's a bullying quality that I'm suddenly aware of....Like this: sadness is an emotion.  I can't choose what to be sad about; I'm sad when I'm sad.  I can choose away from sadness, but that's so close to denial, and that causes so much trouble in the end, that I'd rather I didn't.   Anger is an emotion.  I can choose to express it or not, but when it arises, it arises.  At this point in my life, it seems that my best choices around emotion are A) feel it, drop the story, and take some time to just be with what's there, and B) at least notice it before I choose away from it.

In any case, what I'm thinking about is love....which seems to me to have much more choice in it.  The first choice is to pay attention. No attention, no love.  Sometimes that paying attention comes easy, like when it is blended with lust, and sometimes it is a willful choice.  It's easy when I think I'm going to get my needs met from this person, or this situation.  Not so easy when I have to abandon my neediness for some greater purpose.  That's what the choices look like from a lower frequency, where I'm still subject to the thought of separation, that I am a separate object that is somehow incomplete.  I suspect that as one moves up the frequency scale, the project of love gets easier and easier....

So when I'm here, in one of my less-awakened states, I recognize that love is desirable.  It may look like I need love, but I'm onto it that giving love will be just the ticket, and probably more effective in the end.  If I'm all the way down in feeling unloved, I may not be able to get "high" enough to make a good choice.  That's when I might think to tap (use EFT) on my immediate state...please!  If not, then I have to wallow until some other part of my life rescues me.  In the lower reaches, it is very difficult to remember any of the wisdom that is an integral part of the higher states.  When you're vibrating low, the easy fixes are not only out of reach, you can't even remember that they exist....because at that level, they do not exist.  At that point, it is very easy to come to the erroneous conclusions that this horrible state is A) Reality,  B) going to last forever, and C) all the happier states were delusions.  There's usually a good bit of self-hatred that goes along with all this, a hallmark of the lower states, and a dead giveaway once you get high enough to see it.  Can't see it when you're in it (bummer!).  Those conclusions ARE NOT TRUE.  They are a function of the low frequency state, and will disappear like the morning dew once you allow the sun to rise (get to a better level of vibration).

Do I hear a question about how to do that?  It might be as simple as putting your attention on something that pleases you: a movie that you like, a book you enjoy, the company of a friend, your loving animal companion, etc.  If that's too hard in the moment ( I hate everything!), I go for EFT, and tap on whatever form of hatred and misery I'm stuck in until it lifts.  Either way, the key is paying attention.  With movies, books, etc. it's paying attention to something else, choosing away from the misery.  It's not much of a fix, but sometimes that's what there is.  The great advantage of EFT is that it gives me a way to pay attention to what I'm feeling while I am resetting my meridian system.  I can be as horrible as I like, as long as I'm tapping.  Sometimes I amp my complaining up to operatic melodrama, and the sheer creativity of it becomes a pleasure, and next thing I know, I'm out of the pit.

What happened?  Well, I paid attention to my misery, without changing it, just letting it be how it is (OK, maybe amping it up a bit), and in the space of my attention, it was able to shift.  (Maybe EFT is like training wheels?  So be it, and glad to have it!)  Bringing my attention to it, without needing it to be any different than what it is in the moment--that's love, without the ribbons and the flowers, and the little pink hearts.  Amping--bringing my attention to it and expanding my expression of it...making it more of what it is....a subtle way of being senior to it, far enough outside it to be able to be with it, rather than in it....a way of playing with it.