Encountering Eris

From Eric Francis, “What’s That Sound? Uranus Meets Eris in Aries”

Yet it makes more sense to say that we live in times that are described perfectly by the known themes of Eris — chaos and discord, to name two of the more obvious (but surface layer) ones. This is a special kind of chaos, however, coming partly from within ourselves and energized by our environment.  One somewhat humorous contrast between the Sixties and today is that the Sixties were about boldly finding out who you were at any cost. Today, we practice a kind of cultivated cluelessness about identity, leading to some real difficulty with any notion of ‘I am’ that to me is very much reflective of Eris in Aries as a psychological factor.

“A cultivated cluelessness about identity, leading to some real difficulty with any notion of “I am”……

Well, yes.  And now we see that context is everything.  I’m holding this experience as part of my spiritual journey, rather than as a problem exacerbated by the Internet and the current technology.  For me, it’s useful to let go of the various definitions of “me” that I’ve lived with….or maybe I should say, let go of my death grip on those definitions….and allow that I don’t know.  All the definitions have a place on the spectrum that is me, including the ones I haven’t met or recognized.  None of them are the only truth, and it’s possible that all of them together (no, I don’t know how many…let’s call it an infinite number) are not the whole truth either.

Transpersonally speaking, we are boundless, whatever that means.  When I drop into what I’ve been calling the heart-space, the experience I have is of no boundary.  No boundary, no limit, no form, no words, no thoughts, just awareness.  I explain it by saying that it is the field of infinite possibility in which there is no form…it is possibility, pre-form, before form comes into being.  Sirriya, my brilliant Morphic Awakening teacher, said that it is the True Self.  And if so, then I am, we are, boundless.

Then what?  Then life goes on….dishes to wash, dogs to walk,  places to go, people to see.  But having had that experience of the Big Space, it’s hard to take it all as seriously as before.  It’s an unending series of “ands” rather than “ors.”  I’m no longer trying to fit myself into the “right” definition of who I am.  Rather, I’m noticing that the right me shows up at the right time, and thank you Universe, I’m not in charge of which one when.  (As long as I let go….)

So is this “chaos and discord”?  Well, it could be, if you’re holding on to some idea of how it should be while seeing that it isn’t that way at all right now.  Chaos…meaning I can’t perceive this in a way that matches what I thought was real.  Discord…the only thing we agree on is that only one of us is right, and everyone else is wrong.

What happens if we refuse to play by those rules?  What if I don’t have to have a match between my old pictures and what I see before me?  What if it’s possible that more than one of us is right?  What if it is just diversity, a variety of possibilities that all have their place?  What if we were free to choose between more than two things (what we want and the opposite)?  What we want is familiar to us…what if the alternative was a vast array of unfamiliar possibilities, some of which might be good beyond our imagining?

I like the idea that Chaos and Discord might well be doorways to a larger envisioning.  It seems that the minute I drop the judgment / fear that is wreathed around those names, the doorways begin to creak open….Eris is a Guardian at the Gate, and like all such, looks extremely forbidding as we approach her.  We see her more beautiful face only after we have surrendered past our own fears....