Choosing to Create

It’s a new year!   Even if it is a continuation of  the same old time stream, we are still free to make what we can out of "turning the page.”  And who knows what that sense of renewal will bring, if we really put our backs into it!  This is the energy behind New Year’s Resolutions, which maybe deserves a new spin.  Instead of making lists of what you’re going to do, how about a list of what you are willing (really willing!) to receive?  Wrap it up in gratitude, as if it has already happened, and roll around in the joy of it!  Should make for some great stories around the table, yes?  Join us, we’ll do it together….

That’s what I wrote on the flyer for the January Gatherings, and it’s thrown me….As always, the first step is the hardest.  What am I really willing to receive?  “Really willing to receive” is not the same as “really wanting,” and that’s where I think it mostly breaks down.  It’s relatively easy to know what we really want; what’s not so easy is to get to the neutral space that will allow the thing we want to come to us

“Really willing to receive” means I am no longer bound by all the old stories that have led straight to my not having it.  I have let go of my identity as the one who can’t possibly…..It doesn’t mean that I know who I am now (Thank God!  No clue!) but rather that I have space for something new, to be someone I may not immediately recognize.

“Really willing to receive” also means I have given up the illusion of control that I have when I think that something I “do” is going to bring about the result I want.  Or maybe the quotes should be around the “I”….doing does happen, it just doesn’t come from my will.  If I’m going to receive, I must wait until the offer shows up.  That step fools us into thinking that receiving is passive….but I’m pretty sure it’s not passive at all.  It has active interest, and the willingness to be open, the willingness to move beyond the known, and that willingness is not passive.

Let’s talk about creating….what is it that I’m willing to receive?  I have to create a visioning; not a static vision, but a process of exploring and choosing, that will be even more satisfying as I live into it.  I have to fall in love with it, and let it move in with me….I have to protect it from the invaders; the doubts, the insistence on only seeing what is already present, the unwillingness to take my creation seriously.  All of that is already present, and if I fall for it, I have abandoned not only what I want, but also the joy of creation, and all possibility of change.

The joy of creation—“I’m making this wonderful thing and it’s going to be great!”—“I’m so into this creation, time seems to fly!”—“I’ve got this great idea, and I have to make it real!”

I’ve created plenty in my life…I’ve knit the afghans, the sweaters, the socks, I’ve dyed fiber and spun yarns, and then there’s the non-physical stuff: the dancing, the readings, the stuff where nothing is left behind but a memory.  So what IS all that?  It’s not just about churning it out.  There’s inspiration, and imagination, and getting to use intuition.  The getting to have a vision, first of all….and then getting to love it, to be present to it.  Finding the elements of what I need for it, and having them come to me (or vice versa).  Using the best of what I find to hone my vision as it creeps into reality.  The constant choosing: “this, not that”—and the peaceful stride of just plain manufacturing, until the Glitch shows up and peace is replaced by furious problem-solving.  I’m calling it the Glitch, but it’s really just a checkpoint, an opportunity to rethink, recast, and choose again…possibly with new insight—“what else could work here?”—possibly an integrity check—“can I live with this mistake, or do I have to go back and fix it?”  It’s all about dancing with the vision I started with….”What has this brought me?  Where am I now?”  And always, getting to choose.

I like to choose. I like seeing a whole bunch of “not that” so that “yes, that!” really stands out.  I like the feeling of relaxation that comes when I find the right thing.  My body responds with more life…a combination of peace and excitement…”satisfaction,” I suppose.  But in order to get that, I have to be seeking something, and I have to allow space when I find it….so that my awareness can notice what my body is feeling when there is satisfaction.  That’s the rolling around in it part, and eventually, it creates compost….

So here we are, in a new year, on a new page, with plenty of opportunity to create what we want for 2018.  I’ve pretty much just written a love letter to creativity, and I’m hoping it inspires me, and inspires you as well.  As some wise person said, “We may not be able to fix the old world, but we sure as hell can create the new one!”  Let’s get to it……